Basic Action Super Heroes!

BASH! UE
p r e s e n t s
'adventures in brick city'
the A C C E P T A B L E S


Welcome gentle reader, to this..... the overly long recap of a team of super (heroes?) brought together by a series of complementary counseling sessions, which they must attend before receiving their well earned "C.H.O.R.E." Bucks for the week!
"cause man, I only need like 200 more bucks to get that sweet bike" --Corn-Star

METRO CITY, a shining jewel in the crown of truth, justice and the American way.
A thriving metropolis that is home to some of the greatest heroes this world has ever known.
The Order of the Exemplars...

But that's not our story...

BRICK CITY is about 30 minutes west.

Formerly known for her high-quality building materials.
Now known for the majority of the world's low-grade supers. Heroes who are really good at heroing await the day they receive the coveted "golden envelope" - the ticket to the big leagues in Metro City!

For the rest of you ... well, that's why you have day jobs.
But HEY... We can't all be Exemplars.
Heck... Hero stuff is hard.
Super-villains get all the time to plot, plan, and manipulate.
THEN... when they pull back the curtain on their big caper, and folks expect you to trash it in 59 seconds or KA-BLOOIE?!!?!!

But anyway...
So if Count Killcrazy wants revenge on Brick City, he'll get his chance.
And you'll be waiting...

You're not classic superheroes.

You're not the favorites.
You're not super-cool.
You're the other guys.
The guys nobody bets on.

No Saturday morning cartoons, mighty morphin-action figures or breakfast cereals about you.
No high-profile sponsorship deals or primo-endorsements.

Face it... You're barely acceptable.
But yer a hero by design or default.

It don't matter...
That's the life.
That's what you do.

ACCEPTABLES!
MATRICULATE!!

...this, gentle reader began the grand opening to our tale spoken aloud to the majestic tuneage of
Bruce Timm's Justice League Unlimited theme...
followed magnanimously by...
"YOU'RE THE BEST"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXO3gKfOUN8

...so go, go now... treat yourself... listen and tap your toes to the beat as we begin to recap this... uh... recap.

Try to be best, ‘Cause you're only a man
And a man's gotta learn to take it!
You're the Best!
Around!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own
Fight ‘til you drop, never stop, can't give up
Til you reach the top (FIGHT!)
you're the best in town (FIGHT!)
Listen to that sound, A little bit of all you got
Can never bring you down
You're the best!
Around!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down
You're the Best!
Around!

repeat to fade,
occasional background shouts of
“Oh Ye-eah!"

“Oh Ye-eah!"

Chapter One:
"CHORE Bucks Sucked
Scene #1...........................................
Where: tiny conference room, James K. Polk City Hall, Brick City, NJ

As your dog-eared copy of this wonderful mag flips back, imagine the panels exploding with dull grays and worn patches of faded color, interspersed with spanky drawings (in Bruce Timm style of course) depicting our galla of heroes...

Well... okay, so the Acceptables aren't your normal supers team okay? They're really ramshackle of fellows that found their way together through fate and/or destiny, but mostly because they were assigned to room #614, for the 2:30pm Wednesday counseling session.

Following a mighty bout of standing in line. The boys made their way into the dry but toasty hospital-white conference room. Where a five hour young cheese platter awaited them. Along with the first of today's "mission".

Just moments before the Acceptables, desperately split, stood in line with two to four dozen other ... less than powerful ... HEROES all awaiting the paperwork to document, formulate and collate each heroic endeavor of Brick City's elite super population.

Nemisis 'heroes' such as "THE CAT-LADY" had slipped his way into line, with his elongating arms. And the fellows were just SURE that he'd had "THE PHOTOSHOPPER" forge his documentation!! JACK-PINE found himself steaming at the thought of this tree-top thief making away with his hard earned C.H.O.R.E. Bucks!!

Ah yes... C.H.O.R.E. Bucks. To best inform you of the conundrums of our first Chapter, gentle reader... you MUST know the value of these carbon-smeared dollars

C.H.O.R.E.
the Commission for Heroic Operations Reward Endevor system: In order to increase the safety and welfare of its citizens the city government is instituting this super-rewards program. Fear not true believers! ...because:
"Do the chores get the rewards Brick City heroes!"

Snidely referred to as "Super Welfare" (by Übermensch - the worlds superest man, a hero with hefty endorsements) C.H.O.R.E. Bucks refer to the checks that the B-list heroes wait in line for as "welfare" checks...
They have a wounderful payoff! Consider your luck, fight crime, report your hard efforts and you get stuff!! Stuff like:

Save the coupons up to get the good stuff like with the fairground tickets.
Look for special offers of just about any sort that you receive with your credit card statement.
Exchange some of their points/reward dollars for tickets to theme parks, airline upgrades, magazine subscriptions, sunglasses, free superhero business cards and return address labels (just pay for shipping)
Key an eye out for discounts at local second rate clothing stores (for all those suits they'll be leaving in phone booths)
And don't forget the special discounts on large framed eye glasses (same reason)
Or discounts for drycleaning (for your super suits).
And who wouldn't love a free home make over for their hideouts (On the popular "Secret HQ for You" TV show for d-listers, like trading spaces or spouces but for team HQ's and/ or team leaders)!

MEANWHILE......
back in the counseling room!!

As the Team matriculates in, they recall Counsellor Marty's update on today's assignment. Today the team would be helping a fellow (but former) hero cope.

"FLUTTER" (aka. Helen Balltree) - One of the many former side-kicks of well known magnate hero "FIREFOX" the mysterious caped vigilante whose true identity is unknown, although he appears to have a benefactor in wealthy bachelor Julian Kane. A well-known member of the Exemplars and fixture of the Metro City crime-fighting community, Firefox has for decades battled evil alongside a procession of teenage sidekicks - some of whom, such as Eagle, Sparrow and Falcon, have gone on to heroic careers of their own. Sadly, Firefox's reputation lately has been somewhat sullied by a series of lawsuits alleging inappropriate sexual misconduct by former sidekicks Swallow, Woodcock and Hummingbird.

This... sad tale was but another in the long line of ... well... a long line. And one of our storied team members (Corn-Star) recalled "aiding" another Firefox sidekick not long before... [Narrator's note: middle-aged man-boy Wren had a hard time getting over his former ... mentor way back in Volume #1, played with M&M, 2007].
But unfortunately it would seem no young sidekick would await the Acceptables...




But HEY...
THIS is a perfect opportunity for team introductions!!
______________________________________________
meandering, sauntering, and lollygagging into the room...


CORN-STAR (aka. Marvin Redenbacher)
African-American "black sheep" of the fabled popping corn family. Outcast for fear that his out of wedlock * birth would bring shame to the great family, Marvin found that he had in childhood that he has the unique ability to control corn! (as played by Andrew)


the DISPOSAL, the Indispensable Disposer of Discarded Trifles (aka.Vincent Simons)
Eater of everything! The Disposal found that his forte was munching on anything and everything he could put his hands on. Confused and bewildered by this strange ability and not completely understanding how he might best use it. His personal councellor suggested he get out and meet other's like himself, other want-to-be heroes. People with amaz... neat... uh... people with powers and abilities that not many others have! Hence, he found our group. (as played by Jesse)


the GOOB (aka. Malachia Fred Savage)
Shorter, balding, sarcastically Jewish... Fred demands that people NOT call him by his given name! (he hates the "Wonder Years"!!) and he will forever go by "Malachia"... That seems to be his major malfunction. Oh... yeah... and he secretes a weird goo, that he can spit and stick things together with! (as played by Steve)


JACK-PINE (aka. Jack Pine)
JACK-PINE (aka. Jack Ruth Pine)
Jack is a humble man. He's... stalwart some would say. And he can turn into a tree. Not just ANY tree, a jack pine. Some 50' at it's highest. This awesome power makes him one of the more powerful Acceptable... if only he could DO something when transformed. argh. (as played by Bill)


the A C C E P T A B L E S
everybody!!

... oh yeah, and a thirty-something dumpy but not ugly soccer-mom looking woman, filling herself up with old cheese in the back, behind a dozen or so gun-mettle-gray folding chairs.

Chapter Two:
"Look at Them Villains in the Window!"
Scene #2...........................................
Where: sub-basements, James K. Polk City Hall, Brick City, NJ

Chapter Three:
"Oh Deer!!"
Scene #3...........................................
Where: Observation Room, James K. Polk City Hall, Brick City, NJ

Observation Room: A room with a one-way mirror from which clients can observe and listen

Chapter Four:
"Into the Belly of ... Oh No Way!?!!"
Scene #4...........................................
Where: the lab of Itty-bitty, Tenement Building, Brick City, NJ

Chapter Five:
"Road Rage!"
Scene #5...........................................
Where: Circulatory System, Outside the Lung, inside Corn-Star